


A Broken Heart

by Lava



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec misses Magnus, Good Parent Maryse Lightwood, Hurt/Comfort, Magnus is not in there, Maryse explaines herself, Maryse redemption fic kind of, Maryse wants to do better, Mother-Son Relationship, Sad Alec, Worried Izzy and Jace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-01
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-12-09 21:11:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11677158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lava/pseuds/Lava
Summary: After 2×18Alec is hurt because of the break-up and stays in his room.Jace and Izzy are worried, but it's Maryse who'll try to comfort her son.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The 2×18 broke me, especially the break up scene and Alec's face so I needed to write something. 
> 
> English is not my first language so I am sorry for the possible mistakes you might find.  
> This story will have 3 chapters :)

Alec was laying flat on his stomach, asleep and shirtless,on his bed, alone, at the Institute, hugging a pillow with one hand while the other hand was resting on the other side of the bed.  
The sun was showing out from the windows of his room, and it made Alec's skin shine a little bit.  
  
The bedsheet was left at the corner of his bed, probably because Alec pushed it away with his legs during last night.  
If you get closer, you could definetely see the dry tears on his cheeks.  
  
A few knocks on his bedroom door woke him up.  
  
"Go away!" yelled Alec half asleep. He didn't want to wake up. He just wanted lay on his bed for the rest of his life alone, without anyone disturbing him. Was that too much to ask? Apparently it was because the knocks on the door didn't stop.  
  
"Hey! We have a meeting in a few minutes with the new shadowhunters who came this morning at Institute. You are supposed to show them around. Why are you still sleeping? It's almost 10:30 here. Get out of here man".

Jace.

Alec recognized him by his voice and probably by the force he was banging the door with his fists, which made Alec's head hurts. Alec was still laying on his bed. He really didn't want to wake up. His eyes were almost closing back when he heard Jace's voice again.  
  
"Hey are you okay? You're feeling sick or something? You're usually wide awake before 9 o'clock, what happened?" asked Jace across the bedroom.  
Sitting up, Alec tried to adjust his eyes to the lighting on the room.  
  
"Can't you take care of it? I am not feeling well" replied Alec.  
"What is it? Do you have you to go to the infirmary? Are you hurt?"  
  
'My heart is'  
  
"No it just a terrible headache, and a sore throat ... I will be fine before tonight. I just want to spend the time before that alone, please?" asked Alec closing his eyes and releasing his breath. He didn't want to tell Jace what happened to him last night. He wasn't ready to talk about it. He didn't even want to think about it.  
  
After a few seconds of silence, he heard Jace again.  
"Alright buddy, Izzy and I will take care of everything, don't worry. You just take a good rest okay?"  
  
"Yeah thanks" answered back Alec. He heard Jace's footsteps disappearing in the hallway.  
  
He was left alone. Sighing, he moved out from the bed, put his slippers on, the went to open his wardrobe. He took out some black shirt and new pants and a towel. Then, he made his way to his bathroom. He got rid of the rest of his clothes and got into the shower.  
He put his head on the wall of the shower and let the water fal on his body, mixing with the tears falling down from his eyes.  
If anyone was walking through the hallway, they could have heard the silent sobs coming from the bedroom, but there was no one there.  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------  
Jace was walking around the Institute, looking for Izzy. He just showed the whole Institute to a bunch of uninterested young shadowhunters, mostly boys, who spend all their time during the tour checking out other girls shadowhunters. Then suddenly, he felt his parabatai rune throbbing against his skin, and felt an unfamiliar, and kind of a painfull feeling coming across his heart.  
  
'Alec'  
  
Leaving the new ones with another responsible shadowhunter of the Institute, Jace huffed in pain and worry, and started to look around in the Institute for Izzy.  
He spot her, talking with some people and made his way towards her.  
  
"Hey can we talk about something?" interrupted Jace.  
Izzy saw him and frowned noticing his hands over his parabatai rune.  
"Sure, come on this side then"  
  
"What is it? Is Alec okay? Why are you holding your rune like that? Is it bleeding? Is Alec hurt ? Does he need to go to the infi-"  
  
"Wait wait wait Izzy stop let me speak okay?" interruped Jace before she could ask more questions. "Alec is feeling weird"  
  
"Weird? Weird how?" asked Izzy confused.  
  
"Weird like he is hurt but not physically and sad... he is terribly sad. I don't know why but the only thing I can tell right now is that he is not feeling well. I passed by his bedroom this morning" 

"And?" asked Izzy with her eyebrows up.  
  
"He said he was sick and that he needed us to take care of everything that he was  supposed to take care of today. We both know Alec. When was the last time he took a rest because he was sick?"  
  
"Never" answered Izzy worried  
  
"Exactly. So maybe he's hiding something, maybe he had a fight with Magnus and he is upset about it. I just want to make sure that Alec is okay, did he tell you anything about what happened?"  
  
Swallowing a gulp, Izzy took a few seconds to think. She knew that Alec told Magnus about the Soul Sword and had a fight. But should he be telling that to Jace? Jace is still their brother and he deserves to know but still, it was Alec personnal problems. But-  
Before she could think any further, a voice interrupted them.  
  
"What happened to Alec?"  
  
Both of them turned around and saw in shock who was standing behind them.  
  
Their mother. Maryse Lightwood.  
  
"Is he alright? Is he hurt?" asked their mother with worry.  
  
Izzy recovered before Jace and told her, "No he is just a little bit sick and-"  
  
"He is hurt" interrupted Jace. Izzy turn at him and hit him in the ribs.  
  
"Jace!"  
  
"What?" exclaimed Jace innocently.  
  
"Why did you-"  
  
"What to happened to Alec? How did he get hurt? Did Jonathan-" starting to get agitated Maryse started to ask questions over questions.  
  
"No mom! He is okay! He is okay. Really, It's just that..." paused Izzy.  
  
"Just what?" asked Maryse frowning in concern.  
  
Izzy sighed, "He's just tired from everything that happened tonight" answered Izzy lowering her head.  
  
"Izzy" said Maryse, and Izzy looked up. "I know when you are lying Isabelle" replied Maryse with a little smile.  
  
Izzy bite her lips, "I think he had a fight with Magnus"  
  
Maryse's eyes widden, she opened her mouth to say something, but then closed it, but opened it again,  
  
"Oh..." whispered, then cleared her throat awkwardly, "Is it big?" Maryse asked them with a confused frown.  
  
"Hum..." paused Izzy  
  
"We don't know" replied Jace.  
  
"Oh ... so where is he?"  
  
"In his room, we tought that maybe we could go and see if he is-" said Izzy but Maryse interrupted her.  
  
"No. Alec gave you specific instructions to both of you to take care of his program, schedule today and the Institute. You go and do what you have to do, I ... I will talk to him" told Maryse.  
  
Izzy eyes widened and her mouth was getting open and close like a fish, and Jace was looking at her wide-eyed like she was someone else and started stuttering.  
  
"But you- I mean you don't- Magnus- you don't- "  
  
"Please" finally said Maryse. That put an end to Jace stuttering but his mouth was hanging open and suddenly he said,  
  
"What?"  
  
Sighing, Maryse started to talk again, "I know that I haven't been the perfect mother to him lately, to either of you actually. But what I did and said to Alexander when he was just trying to do something himself for the first time, I ..."  
paused Maryse. Tears were threatening to fall from her eyes but she was holding them back. She then straightened and looked at Izzy and Jace who were now both looking at here with sad eyes. 

"I want to help him now, I want to be the mother he deserves. Please?" asked Maryse again.  
  
Releasing a deep breath, Izzy and Jace both nodded with a small smile.  
"Thank you" said Maryse returning her smile. Then she got serious. "I expect both of you to do what Alec needs right now. Especially with the Institute duties. He won't be able to take care of political stuff if he is not ... feeling alright. I want all of the reports on Alec's office before midnight. Understood?" asked Maryse seriously, but not sternly, Izzy and Jace could still see the little kindness only reserved for her children in her eyes.  
  
Izzy and Jace smiled and nodded. Then Maryse turned around and left them, making her way to Alec's room.  
  
When she get in front of his room, she stood silent. She got closer to the door but she didn't hear anything. She noticed that Alec didn't lock his door this time, like Jace said that he did.  
Frowning Maryse opened the door and entered Alec's room.  
  
Getting in front of her son's bed, what she saw made her take a step back and gasp.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I am posting the 2nd chapter now because I won't be able to do that tomorrow 
> 
> But I haven't finish writting the story so the final chapter will be posted Friday.

When she got in front of his room, she stood silent. She got closer to the door but she didn't hear anything. She noticed that Alec didn't lock his door this time, like Jace said he did.   
Frowning, Maryse opened the door and entered Alec's room.   
  
Getting in front of her son's bed, what she saw made her take a step back and gasp.  
  
Alec was sitting on the bed. His knees were up and raised,  and his head was down, between them. His arms were surrounding his legs, keeping them on place on the bed. His shoulders were shaking and Maryse heard muffled silent sobs.   
Maryse heart broke. She never saw her son this way. Ever. He was always so strong and in control with his emotions, something that she taught him how to do.  
She never realized what kind of pain, and struggle, went trought Alec, while he was trying to hide himself because of how he felt.  
She never actually thought about it. Until the day Alec cancelled his own wedding for Magnus Bane and kissed him in front of the entire members of the Clave, twice. It angered her before, that-   
  
Maryse thoughts were interrupted by sniffles coming from the bed. She got even closer to Alec, and, whispered   
  
"Alexander?" Alec looked up and for a moment, a single second, she saw hope, a tiny little bit of hope, she didn't know why, but it went away as soon as it came.   
  
His eyes were teary, red and puffed, tears were falling down from his eyes.   
As soon as he saw her, his eyes widden, and he moved his hands to his face and cleaned the tears away. Then he cleared his throat, and looked at his mother, with nothing but a serious face,   
  
"I am sorry, I wasn't feeling well, It's just... I have this terrible headache and maybe the flu that's why my eyes are like that. I am gonna get ready for the meetings, give me a few seconds-" explained quickly Alec and moved to get out of the bed, but Maryse stopped him.   
  
"Alec stop" said Maryse.   
  
"It's nothing mom, just a little flu, I have to get ready-"   
  
"Stop lying" interrupted Maryse again. Alec was looking at her guiltly, biting his lower lip and then he looked down at his lap. His legs were crossed and his fingers were battling with the bottom of his shirt.   
  
"Sorry" whispered Alec. Sighing, Maryse sat on the side of his bed.   
  
"I am the one who should be apologizing" said Maryse.   
  
That made Alec startle. He suddenly looked up and looked at her while frowning.   
  
"What?"   
  
Taking a deep breath, Maryse started to talk again.  
  
"Joining Valentine when I was younger was the biggest mistake I ever did in my entire life. I was young and had prejudices. And meeting Valentine just made them stronger. He had this way of telling you something and making it feel like it was something divine and true. And I fell into his trap, like many others did. I followed him blindly. Then, the time your father and I realized what we were doing was wrong it was already too late. Everyone found out that the Lightwood joined the Circle and our name was tarnished. We were looked down because of what we did. And that day, that day I decided to do everything in my power to restore our name with all the respect, reputation, it had before and to wash away the shame it had because of what we did. 

Then you were born, then Isabelle, Max, and Jace joined us. Even as a kid, you always went to your father's office and asked him hundreds of questions about the Institute, you wanted to know everything. Jace would be busy going after girls and Izzy would be busy with training and partying. But you spend your days at the library trying to read every books you could find about the shadowhunter's life.   
  
Growing up, you always did everything by the rule and the code. You never put one foot out of the line. You did everything we asked for, that the Clave asked for. You were a perfect soldier. Everyone we met started to talk about you, the way you delt with things with patience and reflexion. And we were so proud. So happy that you made the people who talked about us with shame, talk about you with proud.   
I saw you as a perfect soldier, and I started also to see you as a leader.   
  
So I put more pressure, more responsabilites and gave you more orders to make you the person, the leader I wanted you to be. And you did everything I asked. You never questionned my orders, or anyone's for that matter. You gave up everything for us and we kept asking more from you. You took care of us, of the Institute, your siblings, I was so proud, but I never realized that you never took care of yourself. That you did everything for us but never did anything for yourself. You kept putting everyone's needs before yours.   
  
And we drilled into you that you weren't  good enough. That you weren't trying hard enough. We kept pushing you over the edge, but you never, ever complained. You never asked us why we were putting everything on your shoulders alone.   
You kept following orders and carrying the weight of our mistakes and responsabilities on your shoulders. And I never saw it..." finished Maryse. She was crying now. Tears were falling from her eyes and her head, her shoulders were down like she finally got away from all the guilt she was carrying around for years.   
  
Alec was looking at his mother with sadness and worry. He never saw her cry. Ever. She always separated emotions from herself. He never saw a single tear falling from her eyes since he was a kid, until the day she told him about the cheating of his father's, and now she was pouring her heart out, something she never did before, and he has no idea how to deal with it. He awkwardly moved his hands towards his mother's shoulder, and put it there to show her support.   
  
Maryse stilled. She almost forgot that she was actually talking to him. His face was full of concern and worry. She turned away from him,  
  
"I am not trying to make you understand my behaviour, I just wanted you to know why I did what I did and why I was so hard with you. But that doesn't excuse it. I just want to ask you to give me another chance. To be the mother you deserve, please Alexander?"   
  
Hearing his full name made him cring, because the only one who was allowed to call him Alexander, besides his mother, was Magnus.   
  
'Magnus' God did he miss him. Just thinking about him made his heart clench at the painfull memory about what happened earlier.   
  
Shaking his head to make him stop thinking about that, he glanced at his mother.   
She was looking at him with teary eyes, a part of her was hoping that Alec would forgive her and another part was fearing that maybe he wouldn't.   
  
Taking a deep breath,   
  
"What ... What made you change your mind? What made you accept me for who I am now?"   
  
"More like who..." answered Maryse with a little smile.   
  
Alec frowned in confusion. But what Maryse replied took his breath away.   
  
"Magnus Bane" said Maryse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me your thoughts in the comments !


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update ^^" 
> 
> There is gonna be a 4th chapter after all because I coudn't finish the story in one chapter, but I wanted to post something today so here we go 
> 
> Also sorry for the mistakes if there are any

  
"Magnus Bane" said Maryse.  
  
Alec released a deep breath then looked away from his mother. Thinking about him only made his heart miss another beat. The pain was still fresh and hearing his name didn't make anything better.  
Clearing his throat, and looking back at his mother, Alec asked,  
  
"Did Mag-... Did he say something to you? To change your mind?" asked Alec.  
  
Biting her lips, Maryse said, "No he didn't say anything ... It's more like about what he did".  
  
"I don't ... I don't understand" replied Alec with a confused look.  
  
Maryse smiled a little while looking her son.  
  
"He changed you"  
  
"You didn't like that"  
  
"No I didn't" admitted Maryse.  
  
"And now you do?" asked Alec  
  
Sighing, Maryse started to talk.  
"When you proposed to Lydia that day, to maintain our family respect and reputation I was happy that you finally did what we, as both of your parents, couldn't do. Marrying a girl such as Lydia Brandwell, from a family that is both powerful in politics and reputation would have allowed the Institute, and our name, to grow stronger. So I accepted your choice. I think a part of me knew that it wasn't what you really wanted, that whatever you were doing that day was for us and not for you, but I think I didn't realize it.  
The day of the wedding, every single members of the Clave were looking at you with proud and respect. They looked at me in a way that told me that I raised you right, that in my life full of stupid mistakes, I did something right and good.  
  
I think that relief and happiness blinded me from seing that you weren't happy about what was happening" said Maryse.  
  
" I wasn't" answered Alec. "But at that moment, it didn't matter. I just wanted to make you proud. And I would have done it, I wanted to, I needed to. But then..." paused Alec.  
  
"And then, Magnus Bane showed up" replied Maryse with a smile, that made Alec blush. Before he could help it, he smiled in return.  
  
Yes, it hurted a little bit too, knowing that he wouldn't kiss Magnus like that again, that they wouldn't be smiling while kissing again, Alec won't be able to hold Magnus in his arms like that again, he won't be able to see him smile like that, he won't be able to see his eyes shine like they did every time they shared a kiss... He won't be able to see him at all. It hurts. It did. Maybe they still have a chance, maybe they don't.  
But still, everytime he think about that kiss they shared at his wedding ... warm fluttered into his heart, and the next second he was smiling wildly, like he was now.  
  
"Yeah he did" answered Alec, clearing his throat.  
  
"I was mad at first. When he entered the church while you were this close to get married to Lydia, my mind went crazy. I thought about all kind of things, how people would talk about our family, my children, if something happened wrong that day. So I panicked. When you kissed him that day, I thought that was because of an ... attraction, or because of a spell that Magnus put on you, or maybe you were just confused ... I didn't understand why you did it back then"  
  
"And now?" asked Alec nervously  
  
Maryse gave him a little smile, then looked away.  
"That day, when Magnus stand there right in front of everyone, back then I thought it was because he wanted to taunt our name because of how we, of how I treated his kind, because we joined Valentine to hunt his people down.  
Then you kissed him, I didn't accept it. And then days passed. Everyone talked about it. It drove me crazy.  
But then you got hurt.  
When you got into coma while you tried to find Jace after he went missing with Valentine, Isabelle told me what happened.  
  
She said that Magnus helped you get out of coma. That he spent the whole time next your bed, looking for something to bring you back, anything. Isabelle told me that he was pretty desesperate and a little scared.  
That he even got angry at Joycelyn because he blamed her for what happened to you and closed the door on her face. She also told me that he showed up Raj into a wall using his magic because he pissed him off apparently, and that Raj had still problem walking after that" finished Maryse with a laugh. 

  
The memory made Alec laugh. That night was still fresh in his mind, him falling into a coma to relieve all the moments with Jace during his childood. Being happy but still felling like something was wrong. Hearing the real Jace's voice from far away but still feeling Magnus' presence even if he wasn't talking to him, or touching him.  
Then waking up, while hugging Jace but seing Magnus with the corner of his eyes. He remember seeing one single tear falling from Magnus' eye that day, while holding Clary's hand with one of his own.  
  
Them walking, side by side, then Magnus thanking him for not dying on him, then asking him if he was willing to join him somewhere else to eat, Raj walking in to interrupt them by telling him that he was needed at the Institute, Magnus making fun of Raj.  
  
"It feels like yesterday" said Alec with a sad smile.  
  
"It does doesn't it?" replied Maryse while biting her lips.  
  
Clearing his throat, Alec focused back on hearing his mother's side of story.  
  
"So ... you realized he truly cared for me? That's what made you accept me? Accept us?" finally asked Alec.  
  
Maryse looked back at her son and with a sad smile, said : "He still does Alec".  
  
She saw Alec swallowing, then looking away from her to stare at his windows which showed the outside city of New York. The sun was shining, she could hear the birds singing on the trees, the wind making the tree's branches caress into each other. She also heard the sounds of cars, motorbikes, travelling along the roads, the people talking to each other, laughing with their companions, friends, family. She could heard them all. Then she heard Alec say with a small voice,  
  
"I know he does"  
  
Then shaking her head to come back at the present,she turned to look at him to answer Alec's answer.  
  
"After the cancellation of your wedding, a few days passed. I started to kind of avoid you, because ... I was confused of... the person you choose to care and love. " carefully said Maryse. She was never good with words. Sometimes she spoke too harshly,sometimes not enought to make understand her thoughts to people. It was frustating. Thinking something and without knowing, saying the complete opposite. Everyone said that Alec inherited this trait of her.  
  
"I started to think about that day. Then I realized that the one who entered the church, and waited for my son, in front of the entire clave, not worrying about what could happen to him, how the clave could hurt him, was just ... a person. During that time at the wedding all I saw was the High Warlock of Brooklyn, and a powerful downworlder, a leader ... But it was actually just Magnus. Later, I started to realize that the man wasn't here to create a war or humiliation. He was there to fight. For you, and for himself. I think, that's the first time I realized that he cared about you in a way that no one ever did. He didn't know what would have happen that day, interrupting a wedding like that, while every members of the Clave were present, but he still stood there, fearless. He wasn't there just for himself, he was there for you.  
For once, there was someone willing to fight for something you wanted but was scared to go after it.  
Then, everytime we had a problem at the Institute he would be here to make everything fine.  
So, I started to realize that maybe there was something real and ... important between the two of you, I decided that I have to put my prejudices behind and started being the mother that I should have been years ago"  
  
"So he kind of opened your eyes" said Alec, turning his head to look at his mother while smiling.  
  
"He did" agreed Maryse. "And he also made me understand why you did what you did at the wedding"  
  
"How so?" asked Alec with a little voice, frowning.

"Your whole life, you have done everything that the Clave asked from you, and everything that we asked from you. You dedicated your life to this Institute, to make it better, and you did. I realized later that, at your wedding day, when you kissed Magnus, it was the first time you did something for yourself, because that's what you wanted" finished Maryse.  
  
"It was" answered Alec with a little smile, thinking about that day.  
  
Sighing, Maryse continued,  
  
"I didn't understand back then, your feelings, I didn't try, because I wanted you to be the person I wanted. But you weren't, you grew up to be better than the person I thought you'd be Alec" said Maryse.  
  
She turned her head to look Alec who was looking back at her with teary eyes. She reached out to him. One of her hands came to rest on Alec's cheek, and she let her thumb caress it.  
Alec closed his eyes, leaned into her touch.  
He doesn't remember the last time his mother did that, caress his cheek with affection and love. She used to do it when he was a kid, kissing his forehead, his cheek, caressing his face and tickling him.  
  
He missed it. He missed her.  
  
"I am so sorry Alec" apologized Maryse. Alec opened his eyes again to see a few tears falling from her eyes, he saw her lips tremble sightly and moved his hand quickly to hold her hand which was on his cheek.  
  
"Mom don't it's okay, you don't have to-" tried to reassure Alec but his mother interrupted him by talking again with her trembling voice.  
  
"No it's not, It's not okay, I treated you like... I made you feel like what you were doing was wrong, but it wasn't Alec. That day when you walked out of your wedding, I don't think I ever saw you that confident and so sure of yourself before that day. You walked down and you choose the person you wanted not because we were expecting you to do it, but because you wanted to do it. And I am so sorry that I wasn't by your side supporting you, like I should have been. I am sorry Alec. I didn't say it that day, but I am saying it now. I am so proud of you Alec, proud because you choose to do what your heart wanted despite the fact that most of people were against it, you fought for yourself and for Magnus in a way that no one did before and I am so proud of you for that and I am so sorry that I didn't say this before, I am sorry, please forgive me " finished Maryse, now openly crying, her shoulders shaking. She was looking down on the bed, one of her hands still cupping Alec's cheek.  
  
"Mom" whispered Alec. Moving closer, he put his hand on her shoulders, and when his mother looked up at him with hopefull eyes, without second thoughts, he moved forwards to pull her into a hug. He hugged her like he used to do it when he was a kid.  
  
Alec's head was on her shouders, his face hiden between her neck and shoulder, both of his arms were circling her waist.  
Maryse had her head on Alec's shoulder, one of her hand was on his back and the other one was ruffling Alec's hair.  
  
"I am sorry Alec" kept saying Maryse, and in return Alec answered,  
  
"I forgive you Mom, I do"  
  
After what felt like hours, both of them moved away from each other.  
Maryse sniffed and took a look at her son.  
He was looking tired and sad, especially sad. She didn't know what happened with Magnus but if Alec was in this state, she guessed it was pretty bad.  
  
"Are you okay?" asked Maryse. Alec looked up with wide eyes.  
  
"Yeah, I mean Yes, I am fine. Why do you ask?" answered Alec clearing his throat and looking away from her.  
  
"It just ... Izzy said that you and Magnus had a fight..." said Maryse.  
  
Alec frowned and released a deep breath,  
worrying that he might get angry, Maryse started to explain herself.  
  
"She didn't say it willingly! I kind of pushed her to answer my question. I mean, I heard her talking with Jace about you being hurt so I kind of panicked and-" before she even got to finish Alec interruped her, and what he said made her put a stop to any thoughts that were going in her mind.  
  
"We broke up" replied Alec. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading and for leaving comments and kudos! 
> 
> The 4th chapter will be posted tomorrow night and it will be a short one, like really really short :') 
> 
> Anyway, thanks again!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter enjoy! :D

"We broke up" replied Alec.  
  
Maryse's mind went black. Of all the things she was expecting her son to say to her, she didn't expect this.  
She opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out.  
Then a few seconds later, as if her mind finally processed what Alec said, Maryse alsmost screamed, almost,  
  
"You did what?!"  
  
Alec snapped his head back to look back at her not excepting her to scream like this, and whispered quickly  
  
"Mom don't yell, I don't want the whole Institute to find out about it"  
  
Maryse quickly closed her mouth and looked towards Alec's bedroom door to see if anyone came in because of her shout.  
  
She looked back at her son, he was looking down at his lap, both of his hands were on his knees. His shoulders were down, his face was closed off, like he was putting all the pain and emotions behind a wall, and was looking at her now with an emotionless face, swallowing a gulp, he said,  
  
"I am fine mom" said Alec, looking away again.  
  
"Oh Alec" whispered Maryse, "you are not, your are hurting" said Maryse. Alec closed his eyes and sighed. His fingers were playing with the bottom of his shirt. Something he always did when he was nervous, or overthinking, and something he still does.  
  
" I don't understand ... I thought you two loved each other" said Maryse.  
  
"We still do" answered Alec with a shaky voice.  
  
"Then ... why"? carefully asked Maryse. Alec was stilent. He didn't answer her right away probably wondering if he has to share his personal, relationship problems with his mother. She wasn't surprise, she wasn't exactly been really supportive and present in his love life, and he hasn't been talking to her about his feelings since ... forever. He never talked about it probably because she never asked about it. She won't blame him if he doesn't share his worries with her now, since she was the one who always put so much weight on his shoulders and worried him in the first place. Besides, she doesn't think that she would be of so much help if Alec started to talk about his relationship problems, she isn't really into these kind of things, obviously, since she couldn't save her own relationship with her husband...  
Before her mind went any further, Alec interrupted her thoughts.  
  
"I hide from him the fact the Clave never had the Soul Sword in the first place and-" answered Alec.  
  
She stared at her son unbelievably with wide eyes and shock written all over her face, he didn't have any time to finish his sentence, because this time she was the one who interrupted him.  
  
"They did what?!" yelled Maryse, again.  
  
Alec turned his head to say to quiet her voice down again, but she didn't even let him start the sentence, because she started to talk before him.  
  
"You can't drop bombs like that and expect me to be silent Alec! What happened with the Soul Sword? Why does the Clave doesn't have it? If they don't who does? And why didn't you tell that to Magnus? Why-"  
  
"Mom mom slow down, I thought you knew about the Sword" interrupted Alec  
  
"Of course I didn't!" answered Maryse. She finally took some time to calm down, this was too much information. Her son being heartbroken and now finding out that the Clave lied to the Downworlders, to them ...  
  
"And how did you find out that they lied about it?" asked Maryse.  
  
"Hummm..." Alec expected her to know about it, since his father did. He didn't know that his father would lie to her about this ... But still, he didn't want make things worse between his parents.  
" It was someone I know from the Clave. They informed me about it" finally said Alec.  
  
Maryse raised an eyebrow at that. She knew that he doesn't know anyone from the Clave, he knew them, but not at the point of talking to them, or not at the point of them sharing important informations like this to him.  
  
He knew that she knew he was lying. She always knew, especially when he was looking down and playing with his fingers while answering her.  
  
Damn it.  
  
"Ok fine" said Alec while sighing in defeat. "It was dad. He was the one who told me about it" 

Hearing this, Maryse gasped. "Robert knew about this?" asked Maryse.  
  
"Uh yeah" answered Alec, not wanting to lie to her anymore. " He used that information to kind of blackmail the Clave to leave me as the head of the institute despite the fact that the transfer of Valentine went wrong during my watch. He said to me that no one knew about it. And that I shouldn't tell anyone either especially not Magnus and-"  
  
"Wait what?! Robert told you to lie to Magnus?" asked Maryse in shock.  
  
Alec clapped his mouth shut. He wasn't even aware of what he was saying. He didn't mean to say the last part of his sentence but it came out before he could stop it. Then, he silently nodded. Next to him, Maryse took a deep breath, and replied,  
  
"What was he thinking? I am gonna have a little talk with him" and she stood up. But Alec quickly grabbed her and made her sit down on the bed next to him again. He knew that look of her, and that tone of his mother, she was angry.  
  
"Mom don't, it's fine-" said Alec trying to calm her down. He hasn't got any chance to finish his sentence because Maryse turned to look at him firmly but with teary eyes, and that put a stop to his sentence.  
  
"It's not fine Alec! Putting our relationship at sake because of ... another woman I can take it, but telling you to lie to Magnus, and hide from him such an important information knowing that it would cause trouble into your relationship? That's not right Alec. And why aren't you upset at him? He was the one who put that thought in your head in the first place,why are-"  
  
"I am mad okay?! I am! I am at him, at the Clave, at myself, I am mad at everyone" snapped Alec. He didn't want to get angry with his mother, but he just feel like yelling right now.  
Looking at his mother, he noticed that she was looking back at him in a weird way, it made him turn his head away.  
  
"Don't look at me like that" said Alec.  
  
"Like what?" asked Maryse, frowning in confusion.  
  
"Like ... Like I am broken" answered Alec while looking down.  
  
"Oh Alec... It's okay to be broken" said Maryse. She didn't hear Alec say anything.  
  
Sighing, she asked him something that could make him talk.  
  
"So ... Magnus broke up with you because you lied to him?" carefully asked Maryse.  
This time, Alec's reply was quick.  
  
"No, I mean, not because of it, but I think my lie played an important part in his decision"  
Seeing the confusion on his mother's face, Alec took a deep breath and started to tell her everything.  
  
"When he came back to my office that day, he found out by someone else that I lied to him about the soul sword. So when he asked me if I knew about it when we were talking about trust and I said yes, he got angry. He said that I wanted complete transparency between the Shadowhunters and Downworlders and lying to him, hiding from all the downworlders the information about the Soul Sword ... He doesn't trust the Clave anymore."

 _He doesn't trust me anymore_  
  
"Then he just left my office, I tried to call him, but he didn't answer. Then the next time I saw him was when he came at the Institute after what happened to Max."   
  
"But ... he didn't tell you that he was breaking up with you" said Maryse.  
  
"No, not back then. It was after that Max woke up."  
  
"Ooh ..."  
  
Maryse didn't know what to say, she wasn't really the expert at showing comfort. So she awkardly put her hand on her son's shoulder, and squeeze it to show him that she was here, for him.  
  
"I apologized to him, I told him that I shouldn't have lie to him about the Soul Sword, that I love him. He told me that he loved me too, I believed him. I still do. I know that he loves me" continued Alec with a sad voice.  
  
"Then what happened?" asked softly Maryse, her hand still on his shoulder. They were both sitting at the side of his bed, she could see the tears in Alec's eyes but they didn't fall down. He was holding them back.  
  
Sighing, Alec answered her. 

"But then he told me that as a leader, he had important decisions to make to assure the survival of his people. And that the only thing holding him back from doing that was ... me. He said that he can't have both. He told me that was what he was afraid of. He didn't say what. But I guess he meant that what he was afraid of was to choose between his people and me. And then.. he, he left" finished Alec with a hoarse voice.  
  
Tears now were falling down from his eyes, he didn't even try to stop them. He didn't want to. He was so tired. Tired of fighting with himself, with his feelings.  
  
He remember every sentences that Magnus said to him when the last time they saw each other in the corridor after Max woke up.  
  
His mother was looking at him with sad and teary eyes. He didn't mean to make her sad. This was his problem.  
  
"So yeah ... that happened" finished Alec clearing his throat.  
  
"I don't know what to say" admitted Maryse.  
  
"The weird thing is that I am not even mad at him" continued Alec  
  
"Aren't you?" asked Maryse with shock. "Why not?"  
  
"Because I understand him" said Alec with a sad smile. "Being the High Warlock of Brooklyn, having a responsability to so many people, not just warlocks but the entire Downworld ... It's a big thing"  
  
"And If I was in his place, I think I would do the same thing ... or maybe I wouldn't ... I don't know.. I just ... I just miss him. It has been what? A few hours? And I feel like it has been weeks. Is that weird?" asked Alec turning to look at his mom with questionning eyes. 

_He is heartbroken_  realized Maryse.  
  
"No" whispered softly Maryse. "No it is not Alec. That's completely normal".  
  
Swallowing, Alec asked a question with a broken voice that Maryse didn't know how to answer,  
  
"Is this how a heartbreak feels like?"  
  
"Alec ..."  
  
"I ... It's weird. This feeling ... I just... I know why he made that decision, I am not okay with it but I understand it, I know he loves me and that he has to do things that he doesn't like to keep his people safe no matter how hard it is for  him, for us. But ... there is the other part of me that whished that he would have keep me too you know? A part of me whishes that we could have find a way to make this work ... And now ... now I have lost him forever" finished Alec, dropping his head in his hand to wash away the tears away falling down on his cheeks.  
  
"No no Alec look at me" said Maryse to him, she moved her hands towards her son, and cupped his face in her hands to make him look at her.  
  
"You didn't loose him Alec, he-"  
  
"-broke up with me" finished Alec for her.  
  
"Well yes but ... sometimes break up doesn't mean the end of a relationship. Sometimes break ups makes the couple come out even stronger than they were  before. That is, if you don't loose hope" said Maryse.  
  
Alec was now looking at her with hope in his eyes and with a little smile. So she kept talking.  
  
"I don't know what is gonna happen with you two from now on. But I know Magnus. I mean, not personnaly, but I still know him in a way. When he cares about people, his people, he cares deeply. He loves deeply. And I know that's how he loves you.  
  
That day of the wedding, Magnus was there for you. He wasn't worried about what would happen to him for interrupting a wedding while the Clave members were present. It didn't matter to him because he was there for you.  
  
Magnus wouldn't do something like this for someone to say goodbye at the end would he?" asked Maryse.  
  
Alec was bitting his lips, still looking at his mother, in deep thinking.  
  
"You think we will get back together one day?" asked Alec hopefully.  
  
"I am sure you will. It may takes days, or weeks or months, but you love him and he loves you. You both love each other, and this kind of love, it never goes away. No matter, how much you try, two people who love each other the way you two do, will always find their way back to each other. Because they are meant to be together.

  
Magnus is having a hard time now, between protecting his people from Valentine and Jonathan, and his personnal needs... he has to make decisions that will hurt him, hurt you. But you will see, at the end of the day, everything will be fine. Okay? You just have to wait and to keep fighting for that day alright?" finished Maryse.  
  
As soon as she was done speaking, she saw Alec close his eyes and his lips trembling, without hesitating she brought him into her arms and hugged him. The next second, she felt Alec's shoulders shaking, she heard his sobs and felt his tears on her shoulder. A few minutes later, she could hear him say "I love him" and cry even more.  
  
"I know Alec, he loves you too, he loves you too" said Maryse.  
  
After what felt like hours, Alec moved away from her arms, and sit next to her on the bed. He used his shirt sleeves to wash away the tears on his face.  
She moved her hand to ruffle his hair. She was a little smile forming on his face and she smiled back.  
  
"You both are gonna be okay, alright?" asked again Maryse.  
  
Alec nodded and then added,  
" Thank you mom. For being here. For me. You didn't have to do it-"  
  
"Of course I had to!" exclaimed Maryse. "I have been a terrible mother to you, especially after what happened at the wedding. I am gonna make efforts now, to be the mother you need, and the mother you want. If you forgive me?" asked Maryse nervously.  
  
"Of course I forgive you" said Alec with a smile and taking her hand in his own. She smiled back at him. Then stood up from the bed.  
  
"Well then, you take some rest. I will take care of the meetings with your siblings today so you just relax alright? Get some sleep if you can because you look like you haven't have any"  
  
"But-" tried to interrupt Alec but she wasn't having any of it.  
  
"No buts Alec. Go to sleep or do you want me to put you to bed?" asked Maryse smiling widely. At that, Alec's eyes widden.  
  
"God no!" exclaimed Alec  
"I can do do it myself" mumbled Alec and jumped back on the bed to lay down in the sleep position.  
  
That made Maryse laugh, she knelt down and caressed Alec cheek and kissed his forehead.  
  
"I love you Alec" whispered Maryse.  
  
"I love you too mom" replied Alec closing his eyes and smiling.  
  
She stood up and made her way outside of his room. Closing the door of his bedroom, she turned her back then made her way to the meetings room.  
  
In the bedroom, Alec re-opened his eyes and smiled to himself.  
Yes, he was still sad and heartbroken, but talking to his mother about it felt like a weight was lift off of his chest. He felt like breathing again.  
  
His mother was right, he has to fight for Magnus, he won't give up on them, he will never give up on their love.  
   
And with this last thought on his mind, Alec closed his eyes to find sleep again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading and leaving kudos and comments, you're awesome <3 
> 
> I don't know if Maryse was a little ooc in this chapter but I felt like she is capable to say things like this to comfort Alec. Anyway let me know what you thought about it in the comments ! 
> 
> Sorry if there was any mistakes in this chapter I didn't have time to correct them.  
> See you soon with another story hopefully :) 
> 
> Thanks again ^^ ❤

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you everyone for reading ^^  
> Comments and kudos are appreciated.


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